If Han Solo worked in a school

So, I finally saw the new Star Wars film. It was absolutely wonderful and exceeded my expectations. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t worry, there are no spoilers in this blog. I’m a huge fan, especially of Han Solo so I thought I’d write a blog in which Han Solo works in a school. Below is what he has said in the various films now in a school setting. Enjoy.

Han drawing the short straw meaning he has to supervise Saturday detention, “Marching into a detention area is not what I had in mind.”

Han spots THAT parent and child at parent’s evening and whispers to his colleague, “I still get a funny feeling about that old man and the kid. I’m not sure what it is about them, but they’re trouble.”

Han, the PE teacher,” Great shot, kid, that was one in a million!”

Han, SBM, talking with the Head, “Yeah, but this time I’ve got the money.”

Han, Head, talking with a consultant who’s told him what Ofsted expects, “Look, Your Worshipfulness, let’s get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person, me.”

Han, listening to Mitra singing praises of Google, “YAHOOO!”

Han taking attendance, “What kept you? I’ve been waiting for you.”

Han the school nurse, “How ya feeling kid? You don’t look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark.”

Han, Head, on receiving the  draft Ofsted report, “Good, I hate long waits.”

Han, Reception teacher, “Sorry about the mess.”

Han, muttering as he walks away clutching green pens given to him by his Head of Department, “Just what I always wanted.”

Han, returning to school after paternity leave, “A Jedi Knight? Jeez, I’m out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur!”

Han, ringing the bell at the end of morning break, “Hurry up, will ya? Haven’t got all day!”

Han , driving the school team to a match, “It’ll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer”

Han to THAT student, “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”

Han , in the staff room, discussing if the Head would be doing anything for Movember, “I’m going to grow a beard, just in case. How about you?”

Han, Chair of Governors, to someone who wants to discuss something already decided, “No time to discuss this in committee.

Han to an educational consultant wanting to sell the school some resources, “And you, you’ll sell ’em to museums, won’t you?

Consultant,”Most of them, most of them.

Han, “Okay, then, that’s good. That’s where they should be.

Han receiving an email from school,” Aww, I’m on vacation.”

Han, latest recruit to the troops to school programme, “To think I once had a military career.”

Colleague to Han, “You know something? In spite of the way you seem to hate it, you’re pretty good at this management stuff.”

Han: “Don’t ever, ever say that. Someone important might hear you. And then I’d be stuck with it.”

Han to colleague who thinks it would be best to get rid of Ofsted, “Accountable to no one? Are you kidding me?

Han, when he spends yet another night in marking,” Why can we never just sit down and have a decent meal anywhere in the galaxy?”

Hope you enjoyed this. May the Force be with you in 2016

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